Liar! Liar!

Five months ago, I told the story of my first rejection. Well, at least the first rejection pertaining to my book, "Anal Sex Haiku, Lascivious Limericks & Other Drivel". I had asked S3 -- Safe Sex Store to stock my book and they turned me down. They claimed that their store focused on sexual health and sexual education, not sexual humor. "Fair enough," I thought, "boutique retailers need to know their clientele and focus on their niche with a laser-like intensity." I've read Lynch; I know the dangers of di-worse-ifying. We parted ways amicably. (Meaning, they instantly forgot about me and I was willing come crawling back at some point in the future.)

A few weeks ago, I was walking by and stopped in to see if they had anything new. After all, they rejected me nicely, a local sex toy shop is a local sex toy shop and I'm a sucker for the beauty of reflexivity. And local sex toy shops. Their inventory was largely unchanged from my previous visit, but I did notice one new item. Prominently displayed on one of their bookshelves was "Hustler's Dirtiest Jokes" by Larry Flynt. I tried rubbing the hypocrisy from my eyes and refocusing, but it didn't help. It was still there. S3 turned me down because my book didn't jibe with their "sexual health and education" milieu, yet they were willing to stock a joke book by the world's most infamous peddler of politically incorrect smut. I couldn't help but feel slightly slighted. A touch, I do confess.

To be fair, I didn't read the book. Maybe Mr. Flynt did a bait and switch. Perhaps his "jokes" eschewed humor and used joke-format stories as parables to teach valuable lessons about tenderness, intimacy and safety. Perhaps he completely violated everything the Hustler brand stands for in order to get his book into S3. Perhaps this book represents an entirely new direction for Hustler publishing. Perhaps... but I doubt it. I think they just lied to me.

I didn't mind getting slapped in the face (metaphorically, thankfully) with a rejection, but getting kneed in the nads (also metaphorically and even more thankfully) four months later seems excessive.

It's annoying, but I'll get over it. I won't be spray painting "Liar! Liar!" on their window, but I think be taking my business to Lover's Lane in the future. Oh well, it's an honor to be considered worthy of mendacity.

Salivo ego sum,
D.I. Prime
April 30, 2008