In honor of Hip Hop Appreciation Week - the third week of May - I'm going to revise and extend some remarks I made in the 10/3/2003 edition of The Prime Says:
I saw my first bukkake movie last weekend; it reminded me of hip hop.
And not just because it's degrading to women.
If you're not familiar with bukkake, I'll bring you up to speed. It's a genre of porn that started in Japan in the late 80's and has been enthralling the planet's pervert population ever since. While there are many variations on the theme, all bukkake involves a procession of men ejaculating on someone. In its most typical form, 50-100 guys will stand in front of a woman and masturbate. When one of the men is ready to let loose his lover's lather, he'll step up to the woman and bust a nut on her face. Repeat until all of the guys have blown their loads. No rinsing required. In fact, it's prohibited. The woman's face winds up looking like a glazed donut. But much less appetizing.
While watching the video, "American Bukkake 8", I noted that bukkake was a very egalitarian form of pornography - at least as far as the men were concerned. The guys ranged from emaciated to corpulent, barely legal to senescent, mentulate to microphallic, swarthy to aryan, brobdingnagian to lilliputian and glabrous to hirsute. One of the guys was even in a wheelchair. How often do you see handi-capable people in traditional porn? Bukkake represents the American ideal as envisioned by Dr. Martin Luther King - black and white folks living together, judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their testicles.
And their artistry. While it may seem, to the untrained eye, that any jerk off could spray his spurts of spunk in one of these films, that's simply not the case. Such slanders completely devalue the talent and skill involved in creating these cinematic masterpieces. Each of the 50 (or so) bukkake artists has to perform in front of a film crew, surrounded by fellow, naked, masturbating thespians. He has to balance effective masturbatory technique with what looks good on camera. He must time his orgasm; there can't be a long pause after the previous man, yet he mustn't interfere with his predecessor. He has to gauge the strength of his impending orgasm, position himself at an appropriate distance and aim, continually compensating for the ever-weakening spurts. Then there's placement: does he stake out a new area or touch-up a previously "painted" portion? What makes for the most compelling and aesthetically pleasing pud pudding portrait? How does he handle the final dribbles? Does he go for the flick or an artistic smear? There's a lot to it and these men aren't given the credit they deserve. They're modern day Jacksoff Pollocks.
I think bukkake is a brilliant concept. After all, the most important part of any pornographic vignette is the come shot. Guys must espy the sperm as it flies. How else will they know that the congress has been completed satisfactorily? In bukkake, the soporific build up has been eliminated. There's no lame plot, no bad dialogue, no useless foreplay and no interminable intercourse - just money shot after money shot. Or, as Damon and Marlon Wayans might have said, "Mo' money shot! Mo' money shot! Mo' money shot!"
And that's why it's like hip hop. Hip hop was started by Kool DJ Herc in the Bronx in the early 70's. He took the best records, isolated the best parts and extended them by playing them over and over again on two turntables. That's bukkake in a nutshell; they've disposed of the excess verbiage and just repeat the best part ad nauseum.
Now I just need to figure out how to rap over it.
Salivo ergo sum,
D.I. Prime
May 18, 2008
